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Monday I posted about fear and greed, how they play into decisions we make in life, and somewhat how they relate to some decisions that are currently facing me. Today God’s helped me see a “Part 2″ to answering the questions that were in my head.

If I got paid for every time I linked to Mark Batterson’s “Evotional” blog, I think I could be a millionaire in a short time. All I really know about him is that I saw someone link to his blog once, but still, that’s the blog I was reading when a post about fear and fearlessness caught my eye. If I try to quote what stood out to me in his post, I’ll quote almost the whole post, so just go read it if you like – it’s short. In short, his post talks about how perfect love casts out fear, so if we are walking in the perfect love of our Lord, then we need to be able to make decisions without deciding based on fear.

So, if my stock-market teacher from my previous post is correct, and all decisions are a balance of fear and greed…and if Mark Batterson is correct and we should live fear-free…then all decisions should be based on greed. Therefore, I am now a mercenary. :D Err wait…maybe the God-factor should come into this somewhere… :P

Of course, seriously, I don’t think that we should base all of our decisions on greed. Really, greed shouldn’t be any part of a Christian’s decision. My previous post was based on a false premise, because in reality, if I follow Christ my decisions should be based on neither fear nor greed. I should be seeking God and seeking godly counsel and letting those determine which path I take.

Oh, and little note – when you do seek God, He’ll (eventually, at His perfect time) answer you. I told God I wanted to know what He wanted with this job-question before me, and He didn’t seem to answer…at least not immediately. God speaks through so many different mediums, but this time, He spoke through mother-love (my mom was concerned that the late hours in a stressful work environment would kill my spirit) and some random blogger who I know practically nothing about. The only thing holding me back, really, from the route I’d like to take is the fact that I don’t know what’s going to happen and I’m somewhat afraid it will fail. Mark concludes his post with a concept that I have seen shown in my life repeatedly and that is showing itself again in this situation:

Here’s another lesson learned: few things are as liberating as what you fear actually happening. You realize that God is still there and life goes on.

“In the end, it’s a battle between fear and greed.”

My brother and I went to a presentation on the stock-market several years ago. I don’t remember the name of the guy who gave the presentation so I can’t properly attribute this quote, but this concept has stuck with me. In the stock market, people choose their investments based on balancing fear and greed – the greed makes them want a high-return investment, but high-return is also high-risk…so fear keeps them from investing in the highest-risk, highest-return investments.

The interesting thing about this quote, to me, is how often it plays out in other parts of life…perhaps specifically other business-aspects. For example, I have 3 options before me for employment for the next year or so. Highest-risk, highest-return (money and experience :P ) would be to start my own business; I’ve dreamed of it for years, it _should_ work, but it’s risky. Medium-risk medium-returns would be to juggle my 3 jobs – I’d get variation in work between 3 different types of jobs, but they’re all intro-level positions. Third option is to go work 40 hrs a week at the call center, where I wouldn’t gain much experience, but I’d have a steady 40 hrs a week every week.

So, do I go with fear (take the steady, boring job but know I’ll get a paycheck), greed (start my own business, and if it takes off, I win big time), or middle of the road? Here’s the same scenario that my stock market workshop teacher showed us long ago!

This quote applies beyond business, though. Do I study from home, sitting in my room, where I’m safe? Or do I go for the greedy-for-experiences route and go to school hundreds of miles from home? Do I marry a guy with a 6-figure income who will go to the same job 8-5 every day for his whole life, or do I marry the dreamer that we’ll starve together and fly together? Everybody chooses differently…and you know what? Our world needs people who choose for fear, people who choose for greed, and people who choose in the center.

Now, this is a somewhat cynical approach to the issue. It’d be more positive to say that it’s a battle between safety and excitement, or something like that…but, even if it is cynical, you’ve got to admit there’s a lot of truth to it.

“Don’t waste guilt on yesterday or anxiety on tomorrow. Spend today’s emotional energy on today!” – Mark Batterson, blogger/pastor

Mark said the above in a recent blog post. The rest of his post is really good and I greatly identify with it (talking about enjoying where we are on the way to where we’re going)…but this quote is on a different topic, so enough about that. :P The point that Mark is making here is very important.

Each day, God promises to give us what we need to get through it. However, He doesn’t necessarily give us what we need for any other day. If I take the portion of emotional energy that I am given to face today’s battles and squander it instead of yesterday and tomorrow, then I am going to be empty. I have had way too many periods in my life when I did this very thing…and I was in a constantly emotionally tired state. At its worst, I got so burned-out that I just closed up and turned off all emotion for awhile. Coming out of this, experiencing again the healthy emotional life that God has designed us to have, I realized how worn out and dragged out I had been. I’d allowed worry for the coming days and guilt over the past days to steal my happiness to the extent that I really, honestly, felt like I was on the outside looking in when I saw people living in the joy that Christ gives. Now, I can understand why the songwriter would’ve said “I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me…”

So my friends, don’t try the worry-and-guilt path…it doesn’t work. Just deal with today, let God worry and let His forgiveness cover your guilt…and then His joy will be in your heart and soul and life.

The only thing that might be worse han a pastor preaching a sermon that’s wrong is one preaching a sermon that’s true but he pretends to support it with passages that have nothing to do with what he’s talking about.

If you’re wanting to do a sermon on xyz, and there’s nothing on xyz in the book you’re doing a series on…then step out of your series and do your sermon. Or, if you want to make a good point that isn’t in the Bible, then write your book without the Bible…or say the principle is there, even if it’s not in a specific verse…but please, please, don’t use lame, unreal basis.

My mind winces so much when it hears such support that it can’t hear your true message anymore.

Mercenary?

I love my job. Actually, I should rephrase that: I love my jobs. God has blessed me with great bosses and coworkers, enjoyable work, etc. I’ve had a door open to a 3rd job – between all 3, I could work about 35 hours a week, I think. One job pays $7.25/hr; one pays $7.60 an hour; and the third, I’m expecting it’d pay somewhere between those. As best I can tell, my coworkers like me as much as I like them…and my bosses appreciate me, too. The lowest paying job particularly appreciates me. I have been so blessed!

There is a call center in town that is constantly looking for employees because the turn-over rate is so fast. From what I have heard, it sounds like a less-than-excellent work environment. As for the work…well, being the telemarketer and/or the help line usually isn’t an enjoyable job. But…it pays $9.60 an hour.

I have many goals for the next year, among them some financial ones. My 3 lower-paying jobs won’t meet these financial goals; the call center job would surpass these goals. It is important to realize that these are goals, not bare-minimum expenses…either method would meet all my bills. They would even both pay back my loans; however, only the call center job would build for the future how I want to build.

Is it mercenary to leave two or three good jobs, with good people who to greater or lesser extents depend on me, in order to go to a lame job that will pay more? Is the $2000+ difference (over the course of a year) worth it, or am I too wrapped up in dollars and cents?

Granted, I could hope to form good business relationships with people at the call center, and I have long thought I would enjoy a job like that where I try to be upbeat to lift my coworker’s spirits in the midst of such a dull job. So, it wouldn’t be only the money…I could still be a witness there…but the decision would be made for the sake of the money primarily, if I am honest with myself.

So, who am I – smart young lady who makes decisions for her future even at the expense of some current comfort…or mercenary old lady who needs to learn to lighten up?

I told you there’d be quotes from just as I read things and a quote stands out to me. :D Here from a blog I follow sporadically is a quote:

We’re not going to try to “get out of this” without figuring out what God wants us to “get out of this.” – Mark Batterson, blogger and pastor

How many times do we just try to get out of the situation we’re in, instead of looking to see what God wants us to get out of it? The author of this post was just talking about a situation facing their church and what he and the church leaders feel God is saying. I don’t know what the situation is; I don’t follow the blog that faithfully. :P But I know that this statement is key for us to think about.

I have a situation that I’m in currently in my life. When it was starting, if you’d told me what trial would come with it, I’d have told you to forget it – take your situation elsewhere, I don’t want the trial. I could get the official end result without the trial in between, just change how a few details played out and all of life would be good. But, I would have just been trying to get out of the trial, instead of looking at what God wanted me to get out of it. This very evening I have been rejoicing and writing in my journal about the ways that God has blessed me, largely through this so-called trial. I should be mad and upset, if you ask any human, but instead, God has used this trial to bless me in so many ways. What He wanted me to get out of it was a closer relationship with Him, a greater trust of Him, and so many other things that I don’t even know yet. I wouldn’t trade this for anything!

So the next time there’s a trial that you’re in and you’re wanting to get out of it, don’t forget to look and see what God wants you to get out of it. It just could be that this trial is merely a huge blessing in disguise…and even if it isn’t, there’s a lesson in everything.

David B has been doing a series of blog-posts basing each one off of one of his favorite quotes. Since his posts have been great, and I’m better at copying than being original…I’m copying his idea. :) So, I’m going to start with my Facebook “Favorite Quotations” and then maybe add others at random times, too. I often stumble across quotes that I like; now I have somewhere to put them. :) So, to start things off…

“Apologetics is the seasoning; the gospel is the main course.” -Ravi Zacharias, apologist

I am more comfortable debating something with the tool of apologetics than just sticking with the gospel. Both are necessary, but only one will change lives! This quote always reminds me that though apologetics is a good thing to study, and though it is good to know why I believe what I believe, that isn’t the goal.

If I serve a guest a pot of chili powder, garlic, onion, pepper, etc., but just have a bite of beef in the whole pot, they’re not going to get much nutrition out of it, nor will they eat it. I mean, seriously, do you like spices enough to eat ‘em straight? If so…you’re weird. (Probably why we’re friends, ay?) If not, then you get my point – the seasonings can’t be the meal.

If I serve you a slab of roast beef with some seasonings on the outside, and a pile of potatoes next to it smothered in real gravy with a hint of pepper…I’m guessing you’ll eat that dinner with a smile on your face. (If not, we need to talk…) That’s a meal – the seasonings make it awesome, but the meat and potatoes is the important part.

In like manner, if we serve people a lot of debate/apologetics, they’ll get annoyed. It burns going down and doesn’t do much good. However, if we serve them the gospel, with just enough apologetics to make it palatable…they’ll wolf that down.

So, here, in over 300 words, I’ve said what Ravi said in 9. For those of us who like debate, apologetics, reason, fact-support, etc., we need to realize that none of that will make someone turn to Christ. We need to serve the gospel and let the Spirit do the heart-transplant. The apologetics seasoning…we should use it, but in proper proportion.

Long ago I read in a book this saying – “Only one life will soon be past; only what’s done for Christ will last.”

This week I had Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday classes-free. I’m working about 25 hours over the course of the weekend, and since my family is out of town, I’m responsible for the cat, dog, and my own meals. :P However, that doesn’t begin to account for the time that has elapsed since my family left Thursday. Mostly, I’ve spent the weekend on my computer. Some of what I’ve been doing has been worthwhile; much of it has been wasted. To waste a weekend is not the end of the world; however, I have before me a month, a year, and a life, and if I am not careful, I will waste all of those, too. Only this little life (year, month, week, etc.) will soon be past – only what’s done for Christ will last.

I made out a list the other day of goals for the next year. Some of them are simple; some are ambitious. All of them require some level of time and effort, and weekends like this one will kill all of them. These goals are part of God-given dreams that are too important for me to kill them ’cause I must refresh my Facebook 150 times a day.

Therefore, I’m cutting back. Last year, for the better part of the second semester, I allowed myself to get on Facebook only on weekends. I’m going back to that this year…only my weekends often include work, too, so I won’t be on here for hours on end over the weekends. I’m also limiting IM to after 5 pm on weekdays…and I’m thinking I’ll only get on my forums on weekends.

I’m not sure how long I’ll employ these standards. Mostly, the strictness is in order to break me of habits. When I feel like I will be able to control these things in my life again, I’ll add them back in.

I have an opportunity before me to take on a 3rd job in addition to school. This is an answer to prayer and will help me achieve some of these goals, but if I can’t exercise enough self-control to control my internet usage around school and work, I won’t be able to take this step. Beyond this moment in time, though, there are great dreams God has given me and goals that must be achieved to get to these dreams. He’s also given me the awesome privilege of being in close relationship with Him. I’m done passing up on all these wonderful things just so that I can spend more time on my dear computer.

Sitting in church yesterday, I realized something about myself. I am too “OK” with how things are. In a way, I am too content with how things are. Now don’t get me wrong – I’m struggling with a lot of discontentment with where I am – the school I’m in, the community around, etc…I’m not some wonder-Christian, totally content with what God’s given me. However, I am still too content. When it comes to things that matter, I’m happy to sit back and try in my own effort to change things, but stop there. I should be discontent enough with the wrong things around me that I am driven to my knees to battle in prayer. I have friends who, if they died today, aren’t probably going to Heaven. I have acquaintances who are trying hard to get away from God. A dear friend’s older sister has been away for years. I ought to be praying for these people’s souls and lives! All around me spiritual battles are being fought. All around me, there’s physical problems as well. I should be praying for all these things and working where God allows me to.

Today, though, I was reminded that I need to be content still…even when these things weigh on me more. I watched a YouTube clip which spoke of being content with the world the way it is, knowing that God uses even the worst things in order to further His kingdom. We should work to alleviate suffering, and yet be content with how God has things right now.

This has left me realizing that I need to be more content and less complacent. I am not always (often?) content with how God is working things…yet I am complacent. I want to get fired up and passionate about the work around me, but also be content with how God has things…it’s a tough balance to find, but with God, I can find it!

Enough?

I know I’m a Christian, but am I Christian enough? Am I doing enough stuff for the Kingdom? Am I having a big enough impact?

The answer is usually no. If you compare my life to last Sunday’s sermon, it’s no. Pick up any Christian book at random and hold me up to it — still no. All my life I’ve heard about what great people Christians are supposed to be; how immensely effective, how radically different, how earth-shaking and extreme. It’s kind of intimidating, especially when you recognize what an ordinary person you are.

I was always told God wanted to do “great things” in and through me, world-changing things. They said God wanted nothing less. They said nothing was worse than an ordinary Christian, and the greatest judgment against us as Believers was that we looked just like everyone else.

So I went along to rallies for purity and evangelism techniques; I read lots of books over the years, trying to become the kind of person that God could use in the biggest way possible. I believed my impact must be huge, my resolve flawless, my character immaculate, my story something for the history books.

I’ve never been good enough.

I didn’t write that, but I read it in an article, and it resonated so much with my life and my thoughts of late. The rest of the article wasn’t quite as good, but here’s some more select portions:

As I high school student, I was told the story of a 15-year-old kid who walked off alone into the African jungle with nothing but a Bible and a stick. Apparently, he came back some weeks later having led an entire village to faith in Jesus. The teller of this tale obviously wanted me to contemplate my own influence as a Christian teen, which certainly didn’t measure up to Jungle Boy.

It seems like we’re always trying to make a huge impact, to transform the whole world, country or community all at once. In our pursuit of grandeur, though, the all-too-important little things get pushed aside.

Some people are indeed called to a world-impacting service to Christ. Many of us will have to settle for something a little more ordinary. Love one person with the love of Christ, though, and you change their whole world. It may take a lifetime just to learn to do that. God gives some of us five talents and some of us just one. The return doesn’t matter to Him as much as what happens in the hearts of His trusted servants.

—————————-

I love that line I bolded. It is so true.

This isn’t a call to sit back and just say, “Well, God hasn’t called me to change the world.” Not at all! To me, it is a reminder that I have a world to be changing. My friends have recently been showing me how I have become focused on taking the world someday and haven’t been working in my world today. I have all these dreams of being used by God in big ways, but I need to remember that the ones who are faithful in the little things will be trusted with the big.

I want God to use me in big ways. I need to realize, though, that the big ways might look small right now. Today, I can’t go share His love with all the hurting world. I can’t even share His love with all the hurting in my world. However, I can show His love to my siblings; I can lighten Mom’s load. I can seek His face; I can do battle on my knees. I can radiate Him to my coworkers and customers at work this afternoon.

Oh God, make me Your servant where I am. Let me be a humble servant accepting of the place You have put me, instead of always longing for the next place. Show me the ways that I should impact my little world here.

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